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What the Hell Am I Listening To??
I started working at The Land of G&K in December, and after slogging through the usual banality of Christmas music, the assistant manager, "She Who Loves the 80's" changed our in-store music to a station that's supposed to play hits from the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Seeing how I'm going to hit the big 4-0 this year, I can relate to most of the music, and I despair when I have to explain some of the songs to our younger staff members..."The Kids", if you will, Because I sadly realized the other day that I am old enough to be their mom. All of them.
Yay, me.
So, I'm sure they think I'm terribly out of date when I have to ask them things like, "Wait. I'm singing along to this song. It's not Justin Beiber, is it?? Answer me!!" Because the sad fact is, this station sneaks in alot of (gasp!) recent Top 40 hits. (If that's even a classification for music anymore.) I mean, really. I had to remind myself once not to dance in the store after they decided to play "Shake It Off" immediately after "Vogue". There are horror stories in my family related to "Vogue", but that's something you'll have to ask my sister about. Mine is just forgetting I'm in public and dancing around like a Muppet on a sugar high.
At least, that's what my daughter says I dance like-"Heh-heh...Mama! You dance like Bert and Ernie!"
Kids. Their honesty is SO refreshing, isn't it?
*ahem!* Anyway...I've already realized that I can't really relate to some of the latest Top 40 music anymore. Not because of the obvious annoyance factor-"Let's write one verse and then sing it over and over! No one will notice if we back it with a deafening bass track!"
I'm sure my parents and grandparents each had this same thought. I told you I'm an old person.
But when I listen to some of the lyrics, I have to ask the eternal question: "Why in the name of Heaven is this person singing a song about...THIS???!"
Now, before you laugh hysterically at my outright indignation at the lack of talent, let me explain something. I started hearing this song, and the only thing that stuck in my head afterwards was:
Call your girlfriend/Its time you had the talk
Give your reasons/Say its not her fault
But you just met somebody new/And now, it's gonna be me and you
And I'm thinking, "Wow. That's kind of harsh. And sucky." But, out of sight (earshot?), out of mind, and I forgot about it, until I heard it again, and listened to more of the lyrics:
And it won't make sense right now, but you're still her friend...
...Don't you even try and explain how it's so different when we kiss
What the fruit loops?? I just want to reach through the song and slap the everliving snot out of the girl singing the song and the boyfriend in question. And when that's done, me and the other poor girl, we're gonna go out for ice cream and talk about what a skeeze the singer is and how the boyfriend is a douche.
But wait, friends and gets better. This "artist" has another song I have to endure. (Sue me. I actually listen to the music while I'm working instead of tuning it's a bad habit.)
This one I affectionately dubbed "The Stalker Song" because of this:
Somebody told me you got a new friend/Does she love you better than I can?...
...I know where you're at, I bet she's around...
Oh, and let's not forget the best line, which is sung through about 85% of the song:
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh....
Hello? Security? We've got a bogey trailing us on our six, and she's a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs...


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