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So. What Are Ya' Wearin'?
angelac75
Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I am most comfortable in my jeans, tees, and Doc Martens boots. It's part of my charm. Plus the boots go well with any shirt I happen to steal from The Beloved. (For the last time, Adrian, no. I have NO IDEA what happened to your bestest, most favorite Superman shirt.... (insert evil chuckle here)) So it's been a stretch for me lately to "dress up" at my new job at The Land of G&K. I've gradually gotten used to it...after first raiding my sister's closet and then branching out on my own and purchsing new shirts and...(gasp!) skirts and dresses.
But frankly, with the oppressive heat and my having to catch the bus, the dresses have come in quite handy. I'm still standing in front of the fan a'la Marilyn Monroe when I get in, but four hours later after I've finally cooled down to a normal temperature, I kinda like the swishy feeling. Not to metion the fact that The Beloved is liking them too, though he almost died the time he noticed one dress gave me....(ahem!) cleavage:
The Beloved: "Wow. When did you get those?"
Me: "Keep asking stupid questions, and you won't ever get to see them again because I"m going to kill you."
See? I still got the tomboy charm.
Anyway, pardon me if I still don't understand some aspects of fashion. This summer we got quite a few of the "rompers"-little bitty one piece items that look like a tube top mated with a pair of Daisy Dukes and this is their love child. I know it's meant for "misses and juniors", but try telling that to the 40+ year old ladies who are chunkier than I am and still want to buy them. I learned early on in my retail career to bite my tongue and just let things be. But sometimes you just gotta step in and say "No."
Unfortunately, for me, it would come out more like, "Oh, honey, no. you. didn't."
Like the time I worked at an accessories store and I had to tell a drag queen who had hands bigger than my Dad's: "No. Honey, these white satin gloves are just NOT going to fit you." Sometimes you get thanked for your honesty, and sometimes you need to get prepared for a beat down. (He did have a nice manicure, though.)
But some of the stuff we sell...yes, I know it's "in style" but whoever designed some of this "style" should be shot. Like the seer sucker suit separates.(Say that three times fast. I dare you.) I don't know who thought fabric that intentionally looks wrinkled was a good idea, but there they were, snapping them up like it was the best thing since sliced bread. Not to mention the fact that we had all the colors available, too. Not just your standard white, black, khaki and blue, but also...(wait for it)....pink.
It's always been a dream of mine to be out on the town with He Who Shall Never Be Spoken Of Again, dressed in all my finery, smiling, walking arm in arm with a 6'2" Mexican dressed as a peppermint stick.
I had to send pictures to my friend, "She Who Can Actually Walk In Heels", to prove, that yes, we did furnish clothing for those who have a fetish of dressing like they should work for Willy Wonka.
And in case you didn't want to be left out, and really wanted to stand out, we have sport coats in a variety of colors...from a nice velour style in "pumpkin" or "eggplant" (Why are most of the colors named after foods????) Or, if you're looking to add that final touch to your spring and summer wardrobe, might I suggest the linen sport coat, featured in sky blue, Pepto Bismol Pink, and mint green..
Last week, I had two of Lancaster's finest, in full uniform and fully armed, come in and start looking around-
"Can I help you gentlemen? Is there any type of emergency I need to know about?", I joked with them.
"Nope. Just a fashion emergency. Got to see what we need to look sharp!", one replied, so I left them to browse.
As sure as the day is long, those two came up to the register later, proudly displaying their find-the mint green jacket.
Fashion emergency, indeed. He'll be festive at the Policeman's Ball....

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